The Militia Goes to College - milcollege by Philip Hassey

? In the spirit of truth, I will tell you the truth. The Militia did not actually go to college together. ?

The Militia made up their mind, they were going to go to "Crazy Eddie's Discount College."
"Hey Doug," asked Gif, "Why do we have to go to college."
"To Enhance our minds," said Doug, with a wise look in his eyes, "To Enhance our minds."

After a long drive, we arrived at the Pearly Gates of "Crazy Eddie's Discount College." They were made of wood. We missed them the first time we drove by because the sign had been knocked onto the ground, and a sign that advertised the "Big Hairy Gorilla Zoo - 5 miles" had been put in its place.
We arrived at the Big Hairy Gorilla Zoo upon my request.
"I've always wanted to meet a real gorilla," I told Doug and Gif. They nodded assent, as they thought it would be a valuable learning experience as well.
At the zoo we shelled out $1.50 a head to get in. They gave us tokens in order to view the different exhibits.
"These aren't real tokens!" cried Gif. They were made of paper mache.
When we got to the "See Live Gorilla Exibit - 3 tokens" we shelled out three tokens, and walked in. A stuffed gorilla with a motorized arm was waving at us inside.
"That isn't a real gorilla," said Doug.
"Hass," said Gif, "This place is a crock."
I stood around kind of sulkily and felt dumb. Then a man in a purple suit popped out from behind a large black drapery.
"Congradulations!" said the man, "You've been accepted into Crazy Eddie's Discount College!"
We were overjoyed.
"Dude," said Doug, "Why are you telling us that, this is a Gorilla Zoo."
"Ahh," said the man, "But it's also an entrace exam to Crazy Eddie's Discount College!"

We thought that this was all such a crock, that on our way back by the Pearly Gates of "Crazy Eddie's Discount College," we knocked over the advertisement for the "Big Hairy Gorilla Zoo" and stole the sign for "Crazy Eddie's Discount Colllege," and we headed back to Massacusettes. Eventually we parted ways and went do different colleges.

? In the spirit of truth, I will tell you the truth. The Militia did not actually steal the sign. They only burnt it to the ground, where it had already been laying. ?