Imitation Pickles

Here you can have your Self-Esteem boosted with a bigger font. Otherwise, read on and you can learn more about the inner-workings of the magical Self-Esteem Boost-o-Matic.

Ages ago I made a rebellious program called the "Insult Generator." The "Insult Generator" could create over 500 different insults along the lines of "You wear old clothes, and look like something moldy!" or "We don't like you, we want you to leave!" None of these were very pleasant, so mother dearest told me I should make something that says nice things about people, a compliment generator. I didn't know how to spell compliment (and I may have still spelt it wrong), so I called it the "Comment Generator." For your edification, here is the original C code:

#define NUMBER_O_COMMENTS 25

char *comments[2][NUMBER_O_COMMENTS] = {
      "You're looking good today,",
      "You look like a million dollars,",
      "You look cute,",
      "You look like a nifty person,",
      "You're nice,",
      "You're loving,",
      "You're kind,",
      "You're gentle,",
      "You're nifty,",
      "You're a wonderful person,",
 /**/ "We like you around,",
      "We wish you could stay longer,",
      "We want you to stay around,",
      "You're a great person,",
      "We want you around,",
      "We should hope you come again,",
      "You're cool,",
      "You're groovy,",
      "You are [hansom/beutiful],",
      "We like you to be with us,",
 /**/ "Don't go now,",
      "We want you to stay,",
      "You're so kind,",
      "You're so loving,",
      "You're so wonderful,",

      " you should come here every day!",
      " you have what it takes!",
      " you select foods well!",
      " you have good taste!",
      " you should be make president!",
      " you are neato!",
      " we like your existance!",
      " we don't want you to go!",
      " you are fun to be with!",
      " you have a great personality!",
 /**/ " you shine out!",
      " you are a great person!",
      " you make me proud!",
      " you made my day worth the effort!",
      " you have made this day good!",
      " we like you!",
      " we want you to be our friend!",
      " I want you to be my friend!",
      " I want you to stay here!",
      " you are a wonderful person!",
 /**/ " we like you being around!",
      " we want you to stay!",
      " you should come with us!",
      " you are fun!",
      " you made this day special!"};


main()
   {
   char c=0;
   srand(time(0));
   printf ("\n\nComment Generator 1.3 - brought to you by Philip Hassey\n"
	       "     Over 500 Different comments!!\n\n");
   printf ("[Press ESC to exit, any other key generates a comment]\n\n\n");
   while (c!=27) {
   printf ("%s%s\n",comments[0][rand(0)%NUMBER_O_COMMENTS],
	     comments[1][rand(0)%NUMBER_O_COMMENTS]); c=getch(); }
   printf ("\n\n\nHope you enjoyed Comment Generator 1.3 - by Philip Hassey\n");
   return(0);
   }